Dealing with Emotions Following the Death of the Bibas Children

By Carmen Shamsianpur, Israel Representative for the TOS Ministry

I have observed very different ways of processing the news from Israel—especially regarding the death of the Bibas children. Some have followed images on social media minute by minute, identifying so deeply with the situation that they hoped for a miracle until the very end—only to then experience an emotional inferno. Others do not even recognize the name "Kfir Bibas." So, how can we navigate the situation in Israel in a healthy way?

I believe it is right and important to stay informed and to allow oneself to be affected by these events. Personally, I try to learn the stories of the hostages—not just the Bibas family—in as much detail as possible. We are witnessing, right before our eyes, a resurgence of both destructive antisemitism and the same kind of indifference and denial mechanisms seen during the Nazi era. In a sense, we are eyewitnesses to history. Maintaining too much distance—even if intended for self-protection—is dangerous.

At the same time, dwelling on this subject can spiral into self-torment, depression, hatred toward the perpetrators, or even resentment toward God. These are all warning signs. What can we do?

Here are a few suggestions for the coming weeks:

Read the Bible and proclaim the Word of God over the situation. God holds the way out. Zechariah 9 says: "Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope!" It continues: "You have not hoped in vain! Today I promise you: You will be compensated twice over for all that you have suffered!"

I, too, have wrestled with God, wondering how Yarden Bibas could ever be compensated "twice over" for what he has endured. The answer: Job died “at a ripe old age, after a rich and fulfilled life.” The key to this was not that he later had “seven sons and three daughters” following the loss of his children, but rather his personal encounter with God. That is something we can pray for.

If the situation weighs too heavily on you emotionally, set specific times to step away from the news. Devote time to prayer and talk about it with your spiritual leaders. You should not feel guilty simply for continuing to live and enjoy your daily life. Look to Israel as an example—a nation that, despite all its traumas, does not sink into despair. Consider the story of Yuval Raphael, who, on October 7th, had to lie still for hours beneath the bodies of her dying friends to survive. This amateur singer will now represent Israel at the Eurovision Song Contest; when she steps onto the stage, she radiates a vibrant, flourishing life.

The pain surrounding Ariel and Kfir Bibas must not obscure the fact that, at the same time, God protected Israel from another major attack. Massive bombs detonated prematurely because the terrorists had set their timers incorrectly. It appears that suicide bombings and kidnappings were also planned in conjunction with these attacks—yet none of them succeeded. Let us worship God for this and pray for further miracles, so that all the hostages may return home and Hamas can no longer continue to exist.

If you are grieving and weeping with Israel, let your Israeli friends know. Be a source of comfort to them, rather than someone seeking comfort yourself. Tell them that you are weeping with them during this difficult time, that you are thinking of them, and that you are praying for them. Tell them that the God of Israel has not forgotten them and is fighting on their behalf.

If the situation in Israel does not move you, undertake a Bible study on God’s love for Israel and spend time in God’s presence while doing so. You are missing the very center of His heart if you do not share this love with Him. Be sure to register for this year’s "March of the Nations" in Israel—especially if you have never been there and had no intention of going. This could be a key for your entire life. In the words of a queen from Yemen, you should be able to say from the bottom of your heart: "God loves Israel and wants it never to perish!" (2 Chronicles 9:8).

Do not dehumanize the Palestinians. I have even seen the term "subhuman" used. As Jobst Bittner has noted, hatred turns you into "a prisoner of Hamas’s system of death." Not all Palestinians are monsters. Hatred is not encoded in their genes. They are a misguided people who have been, to the highest degree, politically exploited. If one assumes a spiritual continuity between the Palestinians and the Philistines, God says that He will "break their pride" and "put an end to their detestable sacrificial meals." Yet, He adds: "The survivors among the Philistines will belong to my people and become a clan in the tribe of Judah" (Zechariah 9:6–7). What a vision! If you think there are no Palestinians who stand against hatred, look at Ahmad Mansour and Hamza Howidy in Germany, or Ahmed Fouad al-Khatib in the United States.

Once Hamas has been disarmed, what the Palestinian people need—certainly not primarily a state of their own, nor resettlement—is a process of re-education, similar to the denazification of Nazi Germany. This requires nations and individuals who are willing to commit themselves to the region for decades, much as the USA and others did in Germany. To date, Germany has not stepped into this role; instead, it has knowingly and significantly funded—and continues to fund—terrorist propaganda. While funds have reached terrorist activities through indirect channels, the education system has been financed directly—despite well-known instances of antisemitic incitement and the glorification of terror, starting as early as kindergarten. The organization IMPACT-se has consistently examined these school textbooks and published its findings—yet these reports have been ignored. The new German government will be judged on whether it chooses to continue this practice. Let us pray regarding this issue, and let us be citizens who care—citizens who are willing to raise their voices.

The invitation to register for the "March of the Nations" is, of course, open to everyone!

Let us gather together in Jerusalem this May!

For more information and registration, please visit: www.marchofthenations.com